As-salaam `alaykum, MUSLIMNESS writer Zahra here, The Immigrant, speaking from Canada! That is for anyone who may have even noticed I was gone. Well I'm back, and with an awesome interview that's bound to make you re-assess the Muslim marriage scene.

Let’s just call my absence maternity leave, which of course is a nice way of saying I was so strung out from lack of sleep, stressing about car seats, safety, mountains of poopy nappies and all the other fun things that go hand in hand with the first year of new life. I'm officially a Mom.

It feels like just yesterday I met my husband, and now we are certified parents. I wonder how I ever lived without my daughter. I couldn’t imagine life without her, unmarried life even. It seems like being single and childless is all a distant memory. And to think, it all started with a few key strokes, not how I ever imagined meeting my future husband.

Most people don’t actually know that me and my husband met online. Now that I think of it, a large portion of my friends met their partners online, and started families of their own. Is this the newest trend, or the beginning of what will become the norm?


Like I, Ali Ardekani, better known to millions as filmography sensation Baba Ali, met his partner online. Ali later felt a need to create a friendlier marriage service that helped single Muslims find their match. But why an internet site? How safe are internet courtships and is that what single Muslims are doing through Half Our Deen, "dating"? Ali was more than happy to answer our questions.

MUSLIMNESS: Firstly dear Ali, your matrimonial site Half Our Deen is known for its unorthodox approach to marriage and nearly 170 people have claimed to have found their other half on the site. Do you think finding a spouse online is becoming a norm?

Baba Ali: With Half Our Deen, we wanted to recreate the way people meet in person leading up to marriage. Since the typical conversations when two people meet face to face doesn't start with "how much do you weigh?" or "what is your income?", we ask questions on the site that we think are more realistic for determining qualities for marriage.

Thus, our unique questionnaire provides members with many questions on finding out more about the potential partner's personality or character. That way you can learn real things and get to know the "real" person, insha'Allah, God willing.

When I was looking for someone ten years ago, the idea of finding your future spouse online was taboo but I really didn't have much choice since I didn't find my match locally. Today, 1 out of every 4 relationships starts online, which shows you how much times have changed, even for Muslims.

MUSLIMNESS: What are the advantages to meeting a future spouse online as opposed to traditional Muslim routes - being introduced to family friends, seeking help through local mosques?

Baba Ali: I still think the best way to meet someone is through your parents. Unfortunately, many people like myself, don't like the choices that our parents have setup for us because their decisions have been influenced by culture rather than attachment to the Deen, path, of Islam.

So we set out on our own, stumbling and learning, trying to find someone compatible and we all aspire to look for their Deen first.

As far as finding people locally, most communities do not have marriage programs and it is really hard to find any "Muslim" system that actually works, in comparison to the very few that do.

For Muslims, finding your other half is far more difficult that most people think it is. We don't date, we can't get emotionally attached, so it's difficult to work out who's "the one". Just ask any single Muslim who is searching now!

MUSLIMNESS: What major disadvantage is there to finding a spouse online?

Baba Ali: Half Our Deen is open to all, our members register from across the globe. One of the biggest obstacles for new relationships is that one person, which could be either the man or the woman, will need to relocate to live with their new husband or wife. And that means starting a new life, in a new place. That can be challenging for some people who haven't left home before or prepared for the move.

MUSLIMNESS: How safe is Half Our Deen?

Baba Ali: I think there's a common misconception that the whole world will know you're "looking" online to get married when you sign up to Half Our Deen. People don't usually want everyone and their mama to know they're seeking a spouse.

I can't blame people for having second thoughts for looking online because I did as well. 

When I was trying to communicate and search, there were no "private" sites so anyone with Internet access could see my profile and that was a bit embarrassing.

See {how to sign up to HOD step by step}.

One of the things that sets Half Our Deen apart from the other sites is that we're completely private. That means only other registered members can see your profile and even then, only members of the opposite gender can see who is looking to get married. That means two sisters can be on the site and neither would ever know that the other was on Half Our Deen."

While everyone can comment on the public HOD blog posts and share questions, safety and security are the main reason that the majority of our members stay exclusively with us.

MUSLIMNESS: What do you feel is the biggest challenge in finding someone online?

Baba Ali: The biggest hurdle is trying to make sure that this person is "the one". I really dislike how some of these other Muslim matrimonials or marriage sites in general limit the questions asked to "eye color" and "hair color", because although that stuff may be important, the deep questions are never asked.

The reality is that you can't marry someone because you guys share the same "favorite color". It's more important that you ask deeper questions to see how compatible you are with each other.

This is how we made Half Our Deen unique, by making it question based. Not only does each person have the ability to take compatibility tests categorised by Deen, Family, Personality, etc, but we're the only site that allows you to post your own questions on your profile. This allows members to quickly filter out the people that don't match with you so neither side wastes any time getting connected with people they don't share interests or values with."

MUSLIMNESS: How do you think families have reacted to young single Muslims turning to marriage sites?

Baba Ali: I think each family is different. Most parents do take time in adjusting to new things and being that the Internet is still the unknown for many of our elders, parents and relatives are often worried about things they don't understand or don't have any knowledge of.

MUSLIMNESS: Many newly wedded Muslims relocate to live with the other partner and their family. Should people have to be open to moving after marriage?

Baba Ali: That's a great question. I've found that Muslim women seem to be more accepting of relocating than Muslim men. These type of questions are key during the communication precess and great to add to our poll section of Half Our Deen!

Another feature that makes Half Our Deen unique is our anonymous polls. Basically, we ask each members' group (the men and women) specific questions which they answer anonymously. The opposite gender is then able to see the answers in percentile to learn what that gender really thinks. Most of the time, the results are surprising and contrary to popular perception. We try to ask important and thought-provoking questions that people may be too shy to ask.

For those who join the site today, they can even go back to the previous polls to see how each gender answered.

I think education is key when it comes to learning about the opposite gender and the more we know, the better it is to help understand each other Insha'Allah, God willing.

MUSLIMNESS: And finally, what do you feel has made Half Our Deen popular amongst Muslims? 

Baba Ali: The only reason that Half Our Deen is successful is because of Allah (Arabic, God). Our site is packed with features but yet it's purpose is very simple.

We hit an outstanding 6 million page views on HOD this year but yet we don't advertise or spam any of our members. No text ads, banner ads, nothing. On top of that we do not charge  even half of what the other sites charge. We pay our staff who help us because we want to try to stay away from expecting Muslim to work for free (no "FREEsabeel'illah" discount at HOD).

We are trying to do things differently by keeping the site private, affordable, and by putting more money into site developments to make the experiences better for members than just collecting ads. The results? Since we launched last year, over 170 people have told us they found their other half through HOD and are happily married.

I have been invited to their wedding, met many of them in person, and have heard one success story after another. I wish I could post them to share the good news but the main reason people join HOD is because of privacy so I respect their wish to keep it that way. Alhamdulillah, (all praise belongs to Allah), Allah has made Half Our Deen successful and the entire staff, including myself, are really fortunate to be part of such an amazing project.

MUSLIMNESS: Shukran, thanks to Ali and everyone at halfourdeen.com for sharing your work and thoughts. Best of success God willing.

So for those young Muslim women and men out there looking for love -disapproving parental-like face-, I mean, halal love, don’t rule out searching online because it can be another opportunity to find what you’re looking for, regardless of your means.

Muslims have the power of dua (supplication). If your intention is pure, just remember to be open and honest and ask Allah to guide you in your search for your better half - and although for some it can feel like a long process to find the right person, Allahu `alim (Allah knows best) it will all happen in its own time.


Did you or anyone you know meet their spouse online? Would you recommend it for others? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.


More on Muslim marriage:
Movie: Change Of Heart, Exposing Muslim Marriage
Muslim Marriage Tips: The Holy Criteria
Manufacturing A Match Made In Heaven
Can I Marry Your Daughter? {comic}

As the latest musical creation by Canadian singer-song writer Dawud Wharnsby is released - A Picnic of Poems: In Allah's Green Garden, MUSLIMNESS Editor Zaufishan Iqbal talks to the talent behind the poetry to find out why we all need a dose of simpler living.

I'm a Muslim environmentalist at heart and absolutely love meeting activists who share that excitement for protecting the planet. Dawud Wharnsby is in our list of heroes for his decades of songs that unite people from all walks of life. This year, Dawud began writing his environment blog "Follow A Poet, Following Goats" from Abbottabad, Pakistan, where he and his young family recycle and eat mangoes. My respect for the artist has just escalated.

As-salam`alaykum Dawud. I'm interested in what lead to the creation of Picnic of Poems? Is it a natural progression from your artistic performance work?

Dawud Wharnsby: Indeed, it was very much a natural progression in my work. As a writer and artist, it has always been my objective to work on projects that feel natural and honest to me. Many artists, particularly recording artists under contract to music companies or financial bakers, must often produce music to meet public or commercial demands. For a man such as myself, that can be very stifling and restrictive to the creative process.

As an independent writer, I am free to use my expression more as a means of personal exploration. My work is a created from and is a path of reflection and assessment, while I am also releasing material I feel is lacking commercially in global music, literary or even education arenas.

I work very much like a potter or painter - just me in my home studio, uninterrupted and without pressure. I read, research, reflect, stew and ponder a long time on things long before the ideas start flowing while I am in my garden or hanging laundry.

A CD accompanies the book of 30 poems

And Picnic Of Poems? What inspired you to take us outside with you and back to our roots?

Dawud Wharnsby:As a father who is passionate about holistic learning and living, I was inspired a few years ago to create a series of poems and songs for children which reflect a very rudimentary approach to learning and the understandings of life and faith.

Edging toward middle age myself, these past few years of my life have been an exciting time of re-evaluating my own purpose, faith and understanding of myself in relation to my creator.



Dawud Wharnsby: As I mentioned in my first Blog post "I will arise and go now": my life's objective has always been to try and live simply, in balance with community and nature. But I got "off track" for a good decade or more - writing songs and inadvertently falling into the unnatural pigeon hole of a "nasheedsinger", singing more about Allah's creation than actually cultivating it and learning from it. 'Out Seeing The Fields' was my way of politely saying "I'm leaving folks... you'll find me under open sky." Now, a Picnic Of Poems is where I am at: on a picnic, rediscovering Allah's creation and my own faith.


Dawud Wharnsby:In many ways, "A Picnic of Poems In Allah's Green Garden" is as much about my own ongoing spiritual journey as it is about the growth and development of my children's religious identities.

The collection, though marketed as a children's book of poem and accompanying CD, still really picks up conceptually on the heels of my last adult focused album "Out Seeing The Fields". The songs on that collection revolved around honesty of self, the quests for a more organic lifestyle and more organic approach to faith. It conjured up images of "leaving to find something better", dealing with discontentment of self, career and dogma. And in fact the last song "Eight Years Old" explores the idea of seeking to regain faith and purpose by tapping into the childhood innocence within us.

"A Picnic of Poems" is the next step for us all - taking our children by the hand and getting out-doors together to experience creation - the ultimate Sign of Allah's existence.

Now that you're living what some might call an enviable greener deen, masha'Allah, how does life in Pakistan compare to Canada?

Dawud Wharnsby:My personal opinion is that, residing in semi-rural Pakistan lends itself to Simple Living far more than residing on my home turf of Canada, simply because Pakistan is so much less industrialized.

The Mennonite communities near my hometown of Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario, embrace a form of Simple Living. Yet, they will be the first to tell you that the challenges are many when your family and community are surrounded by - or split up by - rapid urban growth and the socially-expected adoption of commercialism to one's life.

In places like North America, while independent farmers and truck drivers struggle to make ends meet, the wealthy elite buy up hobby-farm land, build 100% eco friendly mansions, purchase 100% organic fertilizers (and groceries if their crops fail) and even buy bulk at Costco because they know the excessive packaging can just be tossed in a recycle bin at week's end.

To me, that is not "Simple Living", it is decadence in the highest degree and a mockery of the true philosophical essence of Simple Living, which is more about working towards one's happiness - not just "buying" it ready-made. - Dawud Wharnsby

For me, trying to balance frugality, an ecologically friendly lifestyle and a socially responsible attitude toward my fellow humans who struggle financially is more easily accomplished in an environment where there is far less corporate presence and weaker social pressures to keep up with The Jones'.

Yes, my homeland of Canada, and my grandfather's homeland of Britain, respect cultural and religious diversity, and yes their political systems are delightfully democratic (with greater social concern than other countries boasting "democracy") -

But at the end of the day, the philosophy governing their lifestyle is still rooted in capitalism. And so is the assumption that your security and happiness are determined by the capital you have - either through business profits or paid wages.- Dawud Wharnsby

Mennonites communities back home in Canada opt out of governmental financial aid as well as military service, in an effort to maintain a deeper degree of self-substance. However, the ridged social structure of many Mennonite communities also means that they are "set apart" from others socially in many ways.

In Pakistan, corporate presence (and thus, commercialism) is growing - creating incredible chasms between the minority of wealthy elite and the majority of the country's citizens who live on less than $2.00 US dollars per day. Though the humble majority might dream of more money and a better life, they are far more concerned with "living" than with keeping up to fashion trends.

Dawud sports a kameez for harvesting wheat

From a personal perspective, I am able to live in Pakistan with very low expenses, meaning that more of the income to my international businesses can go to local charitable efforts here. It's a win, win, win scenario.

Life, and the infrastructure where I live in Pakistan, are akin to life in rural America almost 80 years ago. Many common people keep chickens for their eggs, goats or cows for milk, and grow vegetables on whatever small spot of land they may have. Rain harvesting is a common practice and almost everything is recycled or reused - out of necessity and not because it is fashionable, trendy or municipally demanded to do so.

Socks are mended by needle and thread, cobblers still fix shoes with nails using recycled leather parts, plumbers still thread pipes with actual thread, school exercise books are still fashioned from recycled paper and many school children (including my own daughter) still use a slate on their lap to practice penmanship - as was done in the US over 100 years ago.

Life moves more slowly and though modern technology helps with communication (my family and I stay connected to the world by laptop and even local shepherds sit by their flocks and text message friends) generally speaking, people have not become slaves to it.


Dawud Wharnsby:During the mid to late 1990's and into the early 2000's I was greatly inspired to write and record spiritually-centred songs for families, dealing with subject matter that was of direct relevance to English speaking muslims around the world. My work initially dealt with basic dogmatic aspects of faith (such as prayer and tradition) but as my audiences grew both in number and in age, and as my approach to faith continued to grow and mature, I began to write about heavier issues such as religious pluralism, child abuse, depression, hypocrisy and other issues affecting youth in this 21st century.

As the trend of "Islamic Nasheed" became more and more commercial, and as I felt I had less to say to the mosque-going minority of muslims around the world. A Picnic Of Poems ventures into different forms of music expression which are still spiritually rooted, but more socially conscious and lyrically introspective.

So, Canada or Pakistan - which country is it easier to live as an eco-Muslim?

Dawud Wharnsby:I Love Canada with all my heart, and wish deeply that I could secure land there in beautiful Southern Ontario near my parents, have a small farm and live as my own mental and physical stamina would allow. But sadly, land there is just too expensive to buy on cash and the rapid urban growth (leading to constantly changing by-laws surrounding zoning etc) as well as the social pressures of "fitting in" would simply be too much for me to handle.

I'd end up being a hermit, living in a bubble, and as my approach to Simple Living also recognizes the rich importance of community inter-dependency, I'd not be fulfilled either socially or ideologically.

Living among very simple and hard working people here in Pakistan seems to be the best option for my family and I at this stage in our lives - until perhaps, we are able to possibly purchase affordable land out on Canada's East Coast in the future...?

Zaufishan: Insha'Allah! God willing, we'll start a fund!

Your songs and poems have always promoted social equity and independent thinking. What messages should we, the avid social and eco-activists take from Picnic of Poems?

Dawud Wharnsby:As a man who writes primarily to sort out his own feelings, ideas and passions, I cannot claim to be an "educational writer" that I am trying to "teach". Releasing my work to the public is, and has always been, primarily rooted in a simple hope that others who may have asked the same questions about life as I have asked, felt the same joys or gone through the similar degrees of hardships I have gone through, may hear my work and realize that they are not alone.

The underlying message of all my songs - for eco-activits, parents, children, teachers and anyone else who lends an ear, can perhaps be summed up best by the lyrics to one of my new songs from "A Picnic of Poems",

♫ "You and I, wonder at the sky,
Call God a different name.
As we try - learn and long to fly,
You and I are so differently the same
On this earth, we're all of equal worth."

Dawud Wharnsby:I have actually started work on my next adult CD, due out in 2012. It will be called The Simplicitea Recipe. The journey continues.

God willing, you will enjoy "A Picnic of Poems" when it finds its way to you. It really is the most meaningful project I have ever done and I pray that it may have a warm home with many families for many, many years to come.

Your support means a great deal to me and I am very honoured that you are helping get my poems out to the world.

Zaufishan: Shukran, shukria, thank you Dawud for sharing your poems and activism with us. We look forward to your poetry and make dua Allah blesses your work and family.

Images:: © Wharnsby.com

A Picnic of Poems: In Allah's Green Garden is available from Kube Publishing

Read Dawud Wharnsby's eco-poet blog {Follow A Poet, Following Goats} and stay updated on the artist's site {Enter Into Peace}.


More musical talents:
The British Muslim Song Book
I Found Dawud Wharnsby In Pakistan Drinking milk
Khalil Ismail, Muslim American 'Good' Rap Artist
Nasheed Group 'Native Deen' Introduce Mobile App
The Prophets of Islam - Kh'Amazing poem

When you want to know about real Muslim lifestyles, the blogosphere is one of the best sources for personal stories. Since news only talks about depressing happenings, we need to show the majority of passionate and creative Muslims through art and photography.

I got in touch with Adam Sahib, founder of Muslims In The West, to ask why his photo blog is representin' a new image of Muslim generations.


Furthermore, we are hoping to inspire both Muslims and non-Muslims through photography. This project is definitely open as we are seeking people to submit pictures. I don't want this to be MY project; rather, a project we can all enjoy and work on together insha'Allah (God willing)."

What inspired you to create Muslims In The West and whom have you featured?
"I was inspired to create this photo journal from two different angles. Firstly, I love taking pictures but I felt that there wasn't a higher level purpose to my pictures. Once I thought of the idea I could just visualize how wonderful it could be with contributions and unique images. We’re only beginning and would love for it to grow some more. We have featured people from all backgrounds and ages to show the beautiful diversity within our community. We get inspired daily by the great submissions that come in."


The blog includes some of the world's most iconic and under-the-radar Muslims from organic produce man Fahim Alwan, photographer-in-residence Yasin Dusoruth, fashion designer Gareth Bryant (Khaleeji Clothing) and professional basketball hopeful Mouctar Diaby.

You mentioned working with your wife earlier - who else is on the team and is this a full time job?
"My wife, Wafiyyah Ali, is a main component on the team alongside me as we work back and forth depending on who has more time. I would also like to mention my cousin Amir who has helped tremendously with the website layout and design. Furthermore, all team photographers and people featured should be mentioned, in particular Yasin Dusoruth who has been our main photographic contributor.

Outside of the photo journal, I teach high school math. Wafiyyah has just finished teacher's college which gives us the opportunity to have all our holidays together insha'Allah!"

On your site you're taking photo submissions. What are you looking for and how can viewers contribute?
"The photo journal is pretty simple. We attempt to post a new picture at least every two days.

Anyone can submit a picture as long as the quality is good and the photo is unique. We have a policy of not refusing any submissions unless the photos are offensive or not in line with the aims and objectives of the site."

What has the reaction been so far from both Muslims and other faiths/communities?
"Everyone who has seen the site has loved it. Two reactions have really made me happy so far. One is to see the Muslim youth so excited and proud to see the pictures of peers and getting involved as well by shareing the site. The second is to see non-Muslims' (as well as some Muslims) beginning to realize how truly diverse the Muslim community is here in North America as well as in Europe."

We recently featured the diverse blogs My Best Friend Is Muslim’ and ‘Muslims Wearing Things’ for their innovative stories. Is Muslims In The West only a 'western' representation?
"Both of those sites are wonderful, may Allah reward those involved tremendously. MITW is quite different in that we only focus on Muslims located specifically in what is historically considered the “West”, as the narrative here is unique for Muslims as opposed to in other traditionally Muslim countries.

Additionally, we do not repost or take photos from other websites. All of our pictures are copyrighted and published with the specific permission of those individuals who shot them. Our website also shows a range of Muslims in every possible avenue not restricted to age or profession. It's not limited to a certain theme or story. We aim to spread our vision through a series of intimate portraits of Muslims throughout the Western lands."

That's an amazing vision. MUSLIMNESS viewers are global and interested in taking a more active role for implementing a similar vision. What top 3 pieces of advice (nasiha) would you give to budding photographers and bloggers?
     1) Keep on reminding yourself to do it for Allah and absolutely no other purpose.
     2) Love what you're doing.
     3) Observe what other Muslims or non-Muslims are doing in your area of interest.

Shukran, thank you Adam and team, great to see your work and we wish it greater success insha'Allah.

Images: Muslims In The West ©

Got a project to share? contact@muslimness.com

More:
Fasting For Ramadan As A Non-Muslim
Khaleeji Clothing, A Fashion Revolution
Dj Halal Rocks The Radio World
'Muslims Wearing Things', The Blog
Link Love: Heeba Magazine

"A world of smoke and mirrors". The music industry is not a clear-cut or a clean career. For Khalil Ismail, an American Muslim rapper from Baltimore, being a Muslim minority in the music industry is even more challenging. Yet his values as a 'God-fearing man' took his musical talents towards a positive impact.

MUSLIMNESS asks Khalil Ismail where the love for rapping began and how it fits with his Muslim faith.

Why did you begin creating music and what are your goals as a musician?
"I started creating music as a hobby when I was 16 or 17 years old. I was heavily influenced by hip hop and therefore that’s what I would play around with. While I listened to it all, the stuff with the worst of lyrics to the more conscience content, I never felt in my head that I needed to make songs that were derogatory and negative. I think that had to do with how I was bought up and the values instilled in me by my parents.

It wasn’t until the last couple of years that I decided to really focus on my music. My goals currently are simply to realize and maximize my God given potential with the understanding that He will put me where I need to be.

I intend to create albums and projects for both the universal audience as well as the nasheed world. My universal album called “hope” is in the works and the nasheed project will be a series called “Soul Submission”. Because I have so much material, I feel this will be a better way to reach the largest amount of people."

What would you say to opponents who feel ‘music’ is not part of a Muslim’s religious beliefs? How do you create an artistic balance?
"I know there is a difference of opinion for Muslims regarding music. If the Islamic scholars differ then we must state that there is a difference and let the people decide for themselves based on the evidences and what they are able to do in terms of their practice. I respect the opinions of all who have taken the time to figure out what they are supposed to be doing religiously so you probably won’t find me arguing with those who are against music.

I personally do not face a contradiction regarding music itself but I am constantly having to check myself to make sure the ego is where its supposed to be and asking myself the question, what is pleasing to my Lord?"


Who are your musical influenes?
"Life inspires my music. I tend to write about things that touch me and break down scenarios that people often find difficult to deal with. I'm influenced by many artists from Bob Marley, Curtis Mayfield, Donny Hathaway to Biggie, Pac, and Nas to John Legend, and Anthony Hamiltion. But if there was one artist whom I had to name, it would be Lauryn Hill."

What has the reaction been like from Muslims and other communities? 
"I get love from all walks of life. I've had an atheist email me and say how he enjoyed my music. I've had Christian preachers invite me to speak at their church and play my music there. And of course many Muslims have really given me great support. My hopes for the future are that maybe in some small way I can dispel myths, help knock down barriers, and help build better understanding across cultures."

MUSLIMNESS has featured social messages from Muslim artists Sami Yusuf, and 'Hamdulillah' by The Narcicyst; how are you different or similar to these representations of the Muslim lifestyle?
"I honestly don’t know that my music represents “Muslim lifestyle” except that it adds to the huge melting pot of Muslims in the arts in general. I think the optimized Muslim is one who is versatile and well rounded in many aspects of life. That’s who I try to be."

What top 3 pieces of advice would you give to others who want to get involved in the music industry?
     1) It’s a world of smoke and mirrors. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs
     2) Like anything else you want to do, it takes long hours and hard work to be good.
     3) It is a genre that makes your soul susceptible to self worship so remember your lord often. If you can do that, it can feel very rewarding to impact people’s lives in a positive way.

Shukran, thank you Khalil for sharing your music with us.


Find the latest free "Ramadan" downloads on www.SoulSubmission.com and newest on the official website:


Stay updated on the fan page: http://Facebook.com/khalilmusic, and follow: http://Twitter.com/khalilismail.

More:
Behind '40 Sufi Comics': India's Muslim Blogging Brothers
Muslim Women In The Arts: An Interview With Lubna Shaikh, Arabic Calligrapher
Islam at Guantánamo - Brother Mustafa's interview on the Guardian
♫ Preview Brother Dasham's 'Spoken Soul' Album

"A place with far too many roundabouts", is how Khadijah Safari describes her hometown Milton Keynes. With an English-Italian heritage, Khadijah moved to London eleven years ago which grounded her towards a stronger faith and established her women's only fitness class, Safari Kickboxing.

Khadijah is no ordinary Muslim woman. She is a professional Black Belt Muay Thai Instructor. In a MUSLIMNESS interview we ask Khadijah Safari why she dropped conventional female roles for a physically disciplined path.

What lead you to the realm of martial arts and what was your aim for it?
"As a teenager I was one of those who wanted to do everything. I used to wish for a 10-day week so that I could take up more hobbies. You name it, I did it; tap, ballet, modern, contemporary, jazz, singing, piano, violin, lace making, sailing, and then came Taekwondo.

I was actually 18 when I took up Taekwondo but loved the whole idea of becoming a black belt. But at 19 I felt the need for something new and so I applied to London College to study Graphic Design & Advertising.

It was in my first few months that I searched for the nearest place (I was in Earls Court) where I could take up martial arts again. It was here that I found Muay Thai, and also the first time that I really felt like I was training hard, as I actually got to punch and kick pads unlike in Taekwondo where I'd spent so much time punching thin air. I couldn't walk for one week after my first Muay thai session, my muscles were in shock! That's when I knew this was the Martial Art for me!"

For those not aware of the martial arts culture, what is Muay Thai? Who is it for? Is it difficult? 
"Muay Thai is an ancient martial art, originating in Thailand believed pre 1200's. It was developed to help defend against perpetual invasions from neighbouring countries, when the only weapons available were short range, such as spears, pikes and clubs. Instead of pads (like we use now) they would train kicking banana trees.

Muay Thai uses the 8 limbs of the body, fists, elbows, knees and shins.

Wearing boxing gloves was only brought into Muay Thai in the late 1920's. The sport is now recognised world wide, and was calmed down when it reached America, where they removed the elbow, knee's and low kicks and released the more commonly known Kickboxing."

After muscle pangs and kickboxing shocks, are there any health benefits to Muay Thai?
"Muay Thai is for anyone wanting to get ultra fit, stay in shape, tone up and learn how to defend themselves. It's fast, technical and super effective. Muay Thai possibly provides the best work out from any sport that you could find. We have athletes who have completed marathons and triathalons come to take classes with us at Safari Kickboxing, and they leave the class sweating, claiming it was the most intense workout they've ever experienced! Imagine, you're using every single muscle in your body in every single move you make. (Don't worry if you're a beginner, you'll be built up slowly)."

That sounds intense. Can anyone join Safari Kickboxing classes?
"I run 9 sessions a week at my gym in London, each class is different, here are a few examples:

Traditional Muay Thai - focuses on the technique and moves used in Muay Thai, learning swift attacks at the same time how to block attacks. This class also combines toning, conditioning and proves successful as a full body workout, letting all sisters find muscles in their body they didn't even know exist!

Cardio Killer - the name describes it exactly as it is. So far, with no exception, I believe this is the most intense workout in London. Perfect for ladies wanting to burn off those excess calories, get in tip top shape and really increase fitness level. It features a 'circuit' and 'stations' and exercises designed for professional fighters to get fit, so you can imagine the results.

El-hamdulillah (praise is for God) I trained 7 ladies last year who were trying to conceive. They had been trying for a baby with no success, and with Allah's mercy after 6-8 weeks of training they actually conceived. As I noticed a pattern I asked a doctor about this (also a client of mine) who informed me that with the intensity of the workout it was very likely that a rigorous workout kick started the body back into action and increased fertility weight.  With Allah's mercy, the more healthy you are. the more capable your body is to deal with pregnancy and child birth. Not to mention getting back into shape afterwards.

MMA - Mixed Martial Arts - I opened up the heavier MMA course just last month, thinking that maybe it's a bit too full on for ladies, what with having to pin each other down while trying to get each other to tap 3 times to give up... Oh how I judged wrong! Within 1 hour of me announcing the ladies only MMA course it was fully booked! MashaAllah (as God wished) I couldn't believe so many sisters were keen to get in with the heavy stuff.  We do insist on no punching to the face, but you'd have to see to believe, these sisters are fearless!

Self Defense - I actually combine these sessions with Muay Thai classes. The beauty with self Defense, Muay Thai and MMA is that it doesn't matter what the size of the person is attacking you, there are ways to take that person down. Certain parts of the body do not bend certain directions, it doesn't matter how strong your muscles are. This really helps to improve confidence amongst sisters. We learn how to defend against general attacks as well as gun and knife disarming. This is very important.

And the most famous: 8 week beginners course - I didn't realise how popular this would be, as it really gives a great insight into Muay thai, is an excellent work out and allows sisters to train comfortably knowing the everyone else is in the same position as them, starting from scratch."

Phenomenal. With such results Safari Kickboxing ought to request endorsement from fertility clinics. We are all cautious of homegrown dangers and aspire to defend ourselves from any attack. What other reasons do you find women choose to train?
"I run classes suitable for women of all ages and backgrounds. My youngest student is aged 3 and my oldest 65. MashaAllah you would not like to try and steal her bag!

Sisters train for many different reasons. I have ladies who wear niqab (a veil). who face weekly attacks in their area, to sisters who travel to Gaza by Flotilla and are faced with weapon attacks and want to learn how to protect themselves.

Many women simply look to losing weight and letting off some steam."


MUSLIMNESS viewers would be keen to know how your daily routine pans out. So, what would life in a week of Safari be like?
"A week in the life of me is pretty hectic, but ultra rewarding. During the week I have private clients starting at 6:30am going through until 10am when I run a morning class aimed at mothers who have just dropped the little ones off to school.

My breaks come during the day when most people are busy and classes start again from 4:30pm until 9:30pm.

On the days when my husband teaches the mens only classes I get a minute to catch up on vital things such as housework. But I also fit in some home visits for evening clients."



And life as a kickboxing wife?
"When I do have my free time you'll either catch me spending time with my wonderful husband mashaAllah over a coffee or lunch or you'll find us both in the gym with our boxing gloves on throwing punches and kicks at each other - its the solution to a stress free relationship, we love it!
Ask me if I'd prefer to be a sit at home housewife, the answer would be a firm NO WAY!

I love being able to offer something to our sisters and community, there's so little available strictly for women only and I wish I could do more to open more locations so women can keep fit and learn self-defense. Trust me, I've been looking for something for myself and I can't find anything similar to our classes."

Many people would oppose Muslim women in self-defense classes. Is there a place for martial arts in Muslim communities?
"Before opening our centre, the first thing we did was visit a mosque to speak to an Imam about the Islamic view on martial arts. We were informed that it is haram (prohibited) to punch someone to their face and to fight for money in competitions - gambling - for entertainment purposes.

However, it is a Sunnah (prophetic tradition) for us to know how to defend ourselves, keep fit and healthy and to unite our community together. At the same time studying self-defense has given an amazing insight to non-Muslim ladies to learn about what Muslim women are all about. The word 'oppressed' gets shattered within minutes. El-hamdulillah we even had a lady who reverted to Islam and in the coming days I will be taking a young girl to an Islamic exhibition after she expressed interest in a discussion with Muslim women over incorrect Islamic presumptions. It's a great opportunity to get the chance to show people the truth without saying a word."

Historically, self-training is an intrinsic part of the Islamic lifestyle. However, Muslim women have not always been at the forefront of such training.  How do you motivate yourself to be efficiently disciplined and balance life as a working Muslim woman?
"I get such pleasure from passing on my knowledge of training to others, that I never feel like I have to forcibly discipline myself in training in this area. It's a complete joy. At the same time I learn so much from all of my students in areas of Islam every week; there are so many sisters from different backgrounds, different cultures and different languages, yet this one religion unites us all.

I reverted to Islam two years ago so I feel like I can never get enough knowledge about our religion. When we train, I make sure everyone's training hard, there's no excuse. And when the Adhan calls from prayer, the prayer mats are there ready.

When the classes are finished my husband is waiting so I get to honour all the wonderful duties a wife has. When it comes to a Friday it doesn't matter how much you ask me to teach you, it's a firm no. That's my day for Mosque."

What 3 pieces of advice would you give to Muslim women aspiring towards martial arts?
"1. Do your research -- Make sure that you know about the martial art you are looking to do and make sure that it's what you're looking for. So many people have launched new named martial arts, but you're best to go to an original form, and check what's involved first and whether you're able to use it in self defense.

2. Check the instructor, the location and it's teaching -- as a Muslim lady you will be looking for a female only class. Although there are many 'women's only' classes available, often you find that they are taught by men, or that men are present. You then need to check that you will be taught technique and not just put in a ring to fight (known as sparring).  So check that they will be happy with your religious needs and not push you to do anything that you may feel uncomfortable with (e.g bowing to the instructor, training with music, attacking directly to the face)

3. Have Fun! -- Learning Martial Arts is super fun. It's high impact, you burn excess calories and you get to work out all of those muscles you forgot existed. But make sure that you take a bottle of water with you and please avoid eating 2 hours before training - you want to feel light when training, not like you're ready to have a little nap after a big meal.|

The 2012 Olympics will be the first time Muslim women are competing and women’s kickboxing is entering – do you see yourself in future competitions? 
"With regards to the 2012 Olympics, it's not really feasable for Muslims to participate in a Halal (Islamically permissible) way, as the rules will state that you can't wear head protection and that you may punch to the face by a means for entertainment purposes.

Personally I love to compete and fight, but I keep in within the restrictions of a women only environment. There is however a Muslim women's sporting event which is held once every 4 years. I am keen to try to enter kickboxing into this as the category doesn't exist at the moment. It's a Worldwide event so quite a big project to undertake. We are currently looking for funding to help organise and train women for this.

I'm currently involved with school visits, giving talks, demonstrations and allowing ladies to try it out for themselves. At Safari Kickboxing we are focusing on crime prevention and weapon disarming. Schools, Youth Clubs and Universities are the main areas to target. Recently we ran a free open day to help support the Elimination of Violence against women. There is so much to be done, with so little time."

Lastly, what’s in the future for Khadijah Safari the kickboxer?
"My dream is to be able to open a large sports centre in London, ideally with a swimming pool, to offer full services to sisters with complete segregation and assurance that they are free to do just as much as every other citizen here in the UK. Of course it would have to have a boxing ring and a fight cage. This way I could arrange professional fights in the right way.

I hate to see barriers, especially when some of the most dedicated and hard working students I have are sisters. The intention is there, but the facilities are not.

But one promise is that I will keep fighting as hard as I can to make it happen for our community. I fought for my black belt 6 days a week, 4 hours a day over one year and a half, because I was determined to achieve it. It usually takes around 10 years. So my dream of opening a gym is not impossible, I just need Allah's will and some support from others and inshaAllah (God willing) we can make it happen.


Images: flickr, Khadijah Safari ©


For information on Khadijah Safari's classes go to: 


t | (UK) 07880 550011

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