I met the Ground and Gave up my Will

Tuesday, September 15, 2009 Read more → , , , In the name of God, entirely Compassionate, especially Merciful | Peace be with you


In the name of God, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ | Peace be with you السلام عليكم

Five cords peek out from under my shirt and run into a large black box which is casually reclining against my right thigh. The tubes connect under my shirt with five separate large circular stickers that seem to be haphazardly stuck onto my chest and stomach. There are two on the left side, two on the right side, and one almost in the middle where both sides of my rib cage meet. I know it’s going to hurt when I try to pull them off... On the couch arm to the left of me lays a barren roll of toilet paper, and on my right side lays a mountain of used tissues. I’m trying, unsuccessfully, to keep my right elbow from bumping into things. Each time that I fail a surge of pain goes up my arm. Bruises are forming on the insides of both of my elbows, worse on the right side than the left. It's midnight on September the 12th and I have to wake up early in the morning. I’m rather grouchy but I should probably explain how I’ve managed to find myself in this situation.

Friday, at lunch, I realized that my voice was rather shrill, and others seemed distant. By Science, my final class of the day, my head ached and I was almost too tired to stand. I slept a good majority of the evening away, and popped a few pills to try to make the pain around my nose and forehead dissipate. I woke up Saturday morning dizzy, sore, and beaten, but I played it all off. I wanted to go with my boyfriend and some other friends to visit our friend Brandon at the hospital. His appendix had to be removed and he could have died.

I was convincing and managed to make my mom believe I had a case of the common cold; I believed it too. After only about fifteen minutes in the room I became increasingly nauseas and dizzy. I fidgeted and moved in and out of the room. I sat on the floor to try to ground myself, to make the spinning stop. I asked Luke, my boyfriend, to walk me to a near-by drug store to buy some medication and he agreed.

We made it down the hall before I had to sit down again. I sat on the floor and stripped off my jacket in hope that the cold air would bring me back. I knew I shouldn’t show my arms, and was very uncomfortable in doing so, but I had to do something. I stood back up and got on the elevator.

“Luke,” I said, “I have to go home, I’m calling my mom.” I leaned my head against the wall of the elevator to steady myself, and what follows is choppy, unclear, and very limited.

“We’re here Toni, time to get out of the elevator.” Luke’s voice pulled me back. Find my way out of the elevator… My phone hits the ground…. “What’s wrong?” Luke sounds scared… Everything is spinning… A woman asks if I’m okay. No… This is a dream…. Three woman around me; woman on the far left cools me off by patting my face with something wet. Luke fumbles with my phone trying to call my mom. “Mom I’m going to the E.R. I need you to come”… I don’t remember when I last ate. Lots of questions… Gurney… Neck brace…. “I’m going to pull your shirt off and slip your arms into the gown, no don’t move.”

From then on out it’s a blur of stickers being stuck to my chest, blood pressure, and nurses or doctors or whoever they were coming in and out of my room. The woman who took my blood messed up, pulled the needle back out, and didn’t mention what was running down my arm. The tests come back without any answers. So they sent me home with what is called a halter monitor. I wear it for twenty four hours of the day and it monitors my heart, breathing, activities, everything. I will take it back tomorrow and they’ll read it when they get time. Tell me without any emotions the results. Maybe that I have a defective heart. Maybe that I have poor circulation. They however, won’t tell me that I am very blessed nonetheless. That I walked out of the hospital without a concussion. That I was only in the E.R. for three hours. That, unlike Brandon, I can eat without my body rejecting it. That I am alive, and no matter what these tests reveal, I’m blessed.

I can’t honestly say that I ever wish to experience this again, but it was a bit eye opening. I hit the ground, I wasn’t bracing myself, I didn’t try to stop it, and I just fell. Ninety-two pounds of dead weight hitting the ground. Yet, I wasn’t seriously injured. That’s something to be very thankful for. Maybe I needed this.

As'salamualaykum,


By: The Revert
Peace & respect ★

author

A quick note from → Zaufishan, MUSLIMNESS creator

MUSLIMNESS.COM. Savvy Muslims in Media, trendy blogs and Good News. If you too are like, totally awesome, share your ideas by contacting MUSLIMNESS. Sharing is Khayring.

Check out more → , , , . Follow responses through RSS 2.0

Follow Muslimness

TRENDING VIDEO

LATEST MUSLIMNESS COMIC

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER

@Muslimness

EVENTS THIS MONTH

OUR PARTNERS & SPONSORS

Friday Nasiha - Weekly Reminders for Successful Life
Working Muslim