Muslim Family in Ramadan

In between dhuhr and 'asr prayer my Mother came with a bag full of Victoria plums she had picked from the garden trees. I was well chuffed! Alhamdulillah! Desperate to eat one or lick one I went about sorting them into piles.
Pile A) These I will save for making plum jam.. hmmm plum jam...
Pile B) These I will leave for ripening in the sun to suck on later (oh yeah)
Pile C) And these I will wash, destone and devour slowly as soon as the clock strikes 'Iftar'o'clock'. By Allah, you should have seen me hop with fruity joy.

So I had this idea; living with non-Muslims around in the neighbourhood means there aren't always people to invite for iftar, not that I don't, it's just that they work or are on holiday. I wanted to share the Ramadan glee with them though so I put loads of pink plums in a joyful bag, made each neighbour a Ramadan card to send with it and went'a'knockin' on their door. Oh, my neighbours, they're not aliens or anything. I've mentioned the married couple at the end that don't see hijab to hijab with me. Then there's Robyn who lives on the left, hardly at home, always expanding his house structure or balcony. Mike the Malaysian (yes, I call him that) lives on the immediate right; he's interesting because he's "semi-Muslim". He fasted with me last year for a bit and more the year before. This year he's vanished. I think the married couple ate him. And then there's Michael who lives next-next-door. He's cool also, although the neighbourhood has a rumour that he lives with a "gentle-manly-friend" (that's polite for "we think he's gay").



All that aside, I still thought it sisterly to spread plum love and they were accepted with graciousness by all, masha'Allah. Except the Semi-Muslim. A girl opened the door instead of Mike and although she was smiling, she flatly refused them! I was like, whattt? "I made you a card and everything!" She said "Oh no, we don't want them, thank you! -smile-" Grrrrr. Fine, I shrugged, can't force a woman to eat plum love now can I? It would have been a good friendship starter but whatever. I mean, we might have grown up together, shared family stories, invited each other to our weddings, named our children after our favourite icons and talked about how we met over plums but sheesh, be like that then.

I've had this conversation with different people about what brings people together and what constitutes a Muslim family all day....

Now as day 5 of ramadan hits me I have that question in my head again.

Many Muslim brothers and sisters I know are the only Muslim in their family, have no family at all, or no muslim community around whatsoever. It's tough for them on a level, that huge Muslim communities don't understand. You wake for suhoor alone, nobody gives you salam or Ramadan greetings during work, nobody even knows you're fasting unless you tell them, and at iftar time, where some Muslim families sit at a table, on the floor, a meadow of homecooked food for the eating, other Muslim drifters are alone, eating a sandwich, waiting for a message online from another fasting person... Solitary confinement and private living is one thing, but when you're a Muslim and fasting, the last thing you want is absolutely no social contact whatsoever. We might begin to thing it's our 'Ramadan breath' pushing everyone away...

Anyway, I have a Muslim family, alhamdulillah, albeit not all of them are muslim, they are family nonetheless. I have a fairly close network of relations that aren't always around either, but I know they are a phone call away. Today I was told I was 'blessed to have a muslim family' by a respected sister who herself lives with a non-Muslim family and sometimes nobody at all. I thought about that line for a while. I'm not always with my family. But that doesn't mean they are not always with me. Make sense much?

Yes, biologically I have siblings, parents, maternal and paternal extended kin that date back to before the epic Mughal Empire, but on a greater level of definitions, I have one of the biggest families imaginable. They are my family because they are a part of humanty and exude all the "Muslimness" a Muslim could ever exude. And I'd like to you to meet some of them.

For today's ramadan journal, I'm bringing you: Ramadan Messages from My Muslim Family. Woot!

Brother Yousuf Walton from Tennessee: "This is my 2nd ramadan, and well it's alone again. People of the community don't seem to ever invite me to anything and tend to shy away from even interacting with me. The imam said it's because a lot of the people look at Islam like a birthright, but oh well if people couldn't accecpt islam then there would have been no companions. So every day about 7pm I go and start making something for me to eat and sit in front of the masjid by myself, unless there just happens to be a gathering. Most of the time there will be 100+ people there but 90% of the time I'm sitting alone saying alhumduillah and making a dua."

Sister Eisha from Canada: "May your ramadan be of peace, warmth and best of health. Ramadan Mubarak to all you Uk-ers!" Sister Eisha is a deaf Muslim. I learnt quite a bit of sign language from her. I don't think she realises how much I look up to her. She's fasting alone this year too.

A Ramadan video message was made by our YouTube sisters, including Kim, Fatima, Ally, Sumaya, and others. Please do watch it here, they're incredible sisters.

Brother Mustafa (the GTMO guard I mentioned I was infatuated with) has a video diary in which he wishes us all well and talks about his 'online Muslim community'. Watch his message here.

How cool are they? Alhamdulillah. I would appreciate it if your comments were aimed my Muslim family above, they all don't have what you have. Make it your 'online sadaqah' for today.

Now then, my final rant to all: We're in the first third of Ramadan. The first ten days are categorised in ahadith as Days of Mercy. That strongly implies Muslims need to take advantage of an overflowing love from the Almighty above. Make more dhikr when you're standing in a line, learn the 99 names of Allah and understand where they are shown, and be kind to people who push you away or reject your plums.

My final dua is that your 5th day of Ramadan'ing is successful, filled with productivity - do not spend it sleeping - helping of others and the little kind deeds that Allah loves. Give salam to your neighbours, give greetings to every Muslim you recognise and don't recognise. Give ME a Ramadan salam. And above all, remember that those words 'brother' and 'sister' are not to ease off interaction. It means we're living in similar ground and follow the same One True Allah. He's our creator, Adam alayhis'salam is our father, and you are my brother and sister and I love you for that. Really, I do. Even if I haven't met you - yet. Remember me in your dua and I shall no doubt ask Allah to give you guidance, peace, reward and a truckload of homegrown plums.

Zaufishan ★ reporting from cyberspace, finally eating those honey tasting plums. Awesome!

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