Muslim Diaries: Allah Won't Challenge Me With More Than I Can Handle
Monday, September 07, 2009 Read more → allah's tests, converting to Islam, hijab issues, muslim diaries, racism and prejudice, spirituality, the revert In the name of God, entirely Compassionate, especially Merciful | Peace be with you
In the name of God, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Muslim Diaries: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Asalaamu Alaikum.
I don't write this post to complain, or to get pity. I know that I am very blessed despite the things that have happened in my life this weekend. However, I think I need to get these things off my chest...
Friday was a wonderful day; I spent time with my kids at Midland Elementary School, attended AP English, and worked my butt off in Environmental Science. I went to the football game and then to bed early.
Saturday morning I cleaned up the house and went to my boyfriend's house for the day. I fell off a bike and got caught in a corn rut. I figured out I shouldn't ride a bike. Then my mom called and told me that she didn't want me to come home because she didn't think I would be safe.
I called around and found a way to stay with a friend and spent most of the day with her. I was upset about my mom, but moved on. My friend and I walked to Papa Johns to get food and walked past Subway on the our way. I was shocked to see a friend of mine at Subway, a friend who attends the church my mom makes me go to. I knew that he would realize I'm a Muslim when he saw the hijab I was wearing, and I wasn't quite ready for that confrontation.
I feel much more prepared now that I have came to terms with his reaction. He didn't come near to accepting me though, not even close at all. No, instead he aggressively told me that Allah could -blank- his inappropriate male area. I couldn't believe it, I was shaking and crying... I'm non-confrontational, and very accepting of everyone else. So, this frank and rude attack on my beliefs shook me to my core - and what a gross thing to say. I kept my cool and said, "That wasn't needed, I would never say anything like that to you", and moved on.
After that my friend Willa had to leave and my boyfriend was too busy with his band to meet me. So, I had nowhere to go. I bummed a ride to the salon my mom works at and spent two hours there before getting to come home.
The answering machine set next to me flashed with 8 new messages. The evidence of the threat that kept me from coming home last night. It's hard to feel like I'm not safe in my own home, but as a new Muslim I really don't feel safe in mine. I don't know what people are going to say to me, or do.
I like to try to bring the end of my post into an acceptance and realization that insha'Allah I can keep in mind to comfort myself in the face of adversity because I am a Muslim, but I can't do that this time. Allah has tested me this past weekend. I know He will continue to do so to bring me closer to Him. I guess I just have to find the beauty amidst adversity.
Asalaamu Alaikum.
I don't write this post to complain, or to get pity. I know that I am very blessed despite the things that have happened in my life this weekend. However, I think I need to get these things off my chest...
Friday was a wonderful day; I spent time with my kids at Midland Elementary School, attended AP English, and worked my butt off in Environmental Science. I went to the football game and then to bed early.
Saturday morning I cleaned up the house and went to my boyfriend's house for the day. I fell off a bike and got caught in a corn rut. I figured out I shouldn't ride a bike. Then my mom called and told me that she didn't want me to come home because she didn't think I would be safe.
I called around and found a way to stay with a friend and spent most of the day with her. I was upset about my mom, but moved on. My friend and I walked to Papa Johns to get food and walked past Subway on the our way. I was shocked to see a friend of mine at Subway, a friend who attends the church my mom makes me go to. I knew that he would realize I'm a Muslim when he saw the hijab I was wearing, and I wasn't quite ready for that confrontation.
I feel much more prepared now that I have came to terms with his reaction. He didn't come near to accepting me though, not even close at all. No, instead he aggressively told me that Allah could -blank- his inappropriate male area. I couldn't believe it, I was shaking and crying... I'm non-confrontational, and very accepting of everyone else. So, this frank and rude attack on my beliefs shook me to my core - and what a gross thing to say. I kept my cool and said, "That wasn't needed, I would never say anything like that to you", and moved on.
After that my friend Willa had to leave and my boyfriend was too busy with his band to meet me. So, I had nowhere to go. I bummed a ride to the salon my mom works at and spent two hours there before getting to come home.
The answering machine set next to me flashed with 8 new messages. The evidence of the threat that kept me from coming home last night. It's hard to feel like I'm not safe in my own home, but as a new Muslim I really don't feel safe in mine. I don't know what people are going to say to me, or do.
I like to try to bring the end of my post into an acceptance and realization that insha'Allah I can keep in mind to comfort myself in the face of adversity because I am a Muslim, but I can't do that this time. Allah has tested me this past weekend. I know He will continue to do so to bring me closer to Him. I guess I just have to find the beauty amidst adversity.
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