In the name of God, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ Peace be with you السلام عليكم

I'm living proof of what it's like to be a quitter. To let my emotions get in the way, and lose things that were important to me.

I left many things that I desired and once had a passion for, or an obligation. Studying, exams, friends and even music.

For the first time in my life, I was seriously working and doing my best at what I needed to do, four months ago. I was working on what I had a passion for, Hijab Styling on Youtube, a few months before that as well.

But I awoke from those dreams too soon.

I think Chief Editor of Muslimness, viewers/readers and friends deserve an explanation for my inability to commit.

I was diagnosed with Dysthymic Disorder. It's basically a mild form of Chronic Depression, which can mimic an anxiety disorder (of course, accompanying depression). Although it's labeled as "mild", depressive episodes can be very, very draining and - well, basically you just want to sleep 20 hours a day.

I've been on medication for the past 4 months now. Prozac, Stablon, Buspar and Inderal. All of them just simply make me unable to cry to sleep, or have those nasty anxiety symptoms and attacks (racing heartbeat, shortness of breath, outburst of uncontrollable crying and screaming, shaking). But I can still feel...and when I do; it's all bottled up inside and I can't let it out. That's exactly how it feels.

So I sleep....and I sleep. And I push things aside, and try to worry about them another day. Just so I don't have to feel so torn up inside, all the while it gets worse and worse.

I've lost care and interest. Simply, in most things I used to love. On top of that, I hate myself for it. Which doesn't make things any better.

If someone out there reading this, suffers from chronic depression, or anxiety, know that I am 100% with you. I know how it feels.

I know what it's like to sleep with a headache and stuffy nose. I know what it's like to scream/cry my head off in pillows so no one hears. I know what it's like to feel something terribly wrong, but not have the faintest clue as to what.
I know what it's like to have the URGE to just slice my veins open, in hopes that I could drain all this negativity that just hangs on my heart and won't let go.

Don't wait years like I have, and still am. I don't care how old you are. If you're 12 and don't want to tell your parents you want therapy, get an aunt or uncle to help you. Anything!

And I wouldn't rely on medication if I were you. I can't wait to resort to a more natural lifestyle to get rid of it, instead of using meds that have even hundreds of side effects (true, Prozac has that many).

(Sorry if this sounded melodramatic, but I thought it was time to let it out in the open, and hopefully, let go sometime soon.)


I guess this is goodbye.

Salam Aleykom :). I pray you have all the love in the world and peace :).

In the name of God, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ | Peace be with you السلام عليكم

(From Maddie's blog)

If you don't know about the most popular virtual world "Second Life", then you are missing out a LOT. Especially if you're Muslim.

I started using Second Life last year and found out about this virtual sim (virtual island or place in there) made and owned by IslamOnline.net . I discovered a hidden gem that most people don't know about!

It's a wonderful community filled with Islamic and Arab culture related projects and events! I was there too, hanging out with visitors, help the managers from time to time with their events and such. May Allah bless them all. They really have done and still do such a special thing for us and others curious about Islam.

What's so special about IOL (islamonline)?

Well it'd take such a LONG post to explain and describe it all..but here's some pictures I took myself while either visiting or assisting the managers in IOL.

These are outdated according to how much better it looks now, plus I usually use LOW graphic settings, so SL looks 100x better than this!

I miss Islamonline.net SO MUCH :(. I wish I didn't quit helping them out...but I had my own problems to sort out and stuff :(. I really do miss the staff there. They were like my friends...<3.oh>

One of the Discussion events I hosted :D! It was exciting and I loved all the visitors that came. Muslim and Non-Muslim alike :). I think we were discussing about the image of women in Islam or something here.

My hubby and I hanging out in IOL :)
I know, I know, what am I doing dressed like that in the virtual bait-Al'Haram? (Masjid in Kabah). Well, sometimes you tend to take that lightly, since it is a *virtual* world.

Me, my mom (she's the little girl :P), best friend Su and good friend Noorah hanging out in IOL inside the Haram. Eating Cheetos lol.

Well that's about it I guess. I'll post more if I find andtake any other pictures insha'Allah! :D

Here's what Second Life REALLY looks like in higher graphic settings (It's a virtual world, so IOL is just a needle in the hay stack):


Of course it depends on the place there and such. You can build ANYTHING there. But hey, it's not very easy to use at first (but now they have a 'getting started' PDF file for ease); it has so many options and possibilities, there is adult content there (but not in the latest version, they claim), and your avatar won't look THAT good unless you get a really decent "skin" and things like that. Yes there is an economy there as well. Maybe a recession too.

So if you want the best of the best, or land, then you need to pay (VERY little). However there are many other options. I never had to buy anything to get what I need in there, since there's plenty of free malls, so no worries :).

For me to talk about what makes Second Life more amazing...would need plenty of other posts :P.

But it is DEFINITELY NOT A GAME! :))




♥ Madiha M.K ♥
The Diva

Ramadan is just around the corner, only 2 weeks before the blessed month begins.

When we were young children but old enough to fast, we embraced Ramadan like it was something so sacred. Together with our families each year. As if it was taboo not to practice it fully.

But when you grow a little older and become a part of different social environments, others behavior's tend to rub off on you after a while. Unless you're one strong fella!

We were told/shown by our parents and family members what's allowed to do and prohibited to do, especially in Ramadan. But when surrounded by classmates or colleagues, a whole new set of do's and don'ts evolve in the majority.

I'm not saying we're all too weak and most indefinitely get influenced by others behavior's, but we do to some degree.

After a couple of Ramadans spent around your classmates at school or college or around your colleagues, you begin picking up on what they're practicing or aren't practicing in Islam during Ramadan. Some girls might dress less appropriately, Ali and his friends are munching about in the cafeteria , people still swear out loud, others don't join in prayers...etc.
The more you look around you, the more it seems as if nothing's changed except for a few Ramadan drinks and decorations.

This is not the case for everyone or all social environments, but this does happen. The more we are exposed to this kind of behavior during a holy month, the more it becomes acceptable.

Before, when someone would be caught or seen not fasting, everyone would gasp. Now, almost nobody says a word. Because there are a lot of people I see that aren't fasting (at least in my university and such). It even tempts me to take it lightly myself.




For all the times you haven't helped your parents, you can help them during Ramadan.
For all the times you lied to others, you can tell the truth during Ramadan.
For all the times you didn't pray, you can pray during Ramadan.
For all the times you didn't read/memorize the Quran, you can during Ramadan.
For all the times you weren't humble, you can during Ramadan.
For all the times you didn't feed the poor, you can during Ramadan.
For all the times you smoked or smoked up! You can stop during Ramadan.
For all the times you ate a poor diet, you can eat healthy during Ramadan.
For all the times you fooled around, you can stop during Ramadan!


In Ramadan, We Can!


"Just Ramadan?"

Of course not! But as research says, doing anything for at least 21 days can become a new habit, so why not just try something new and good for 30?

Personally, I'm going to try treating my parents better and reading more Quran, Insha Allah. God knows they deserve it. Especially my mom.

Why don't we take advantage of such a beautiful month when the devil is locked away, to strengthen our faith in Islam?

Just pick at least ONE good deed to practice during Ramadan, for self training and habit adaptation purposes?

Even if it's something you don't have a very positive or strong attitude towards (such as hijab or quitting smoking) and turn it into a positive one through behavior?

Research has shown that people can change attitudes through behavior. If you don't like wearing hijab, then I could ask you to write a paper about the benefits of wearing it, and you just might change your mind about it! It's called Counter Attitudinal Advocacy.

Let's all give it a whirl and try our best to practice Islam to the best of our abilities, this Ramadan. In hopes that we continue to do so for the sake of Allah, insha Allah.




Early Ramadan Kareem :),