Questioning our Faith

Over the past few months a common theme has risen in a lot of my daily observations. As a convert, the road that led me to Islam began with what I like to refer to as a "crisis of faith". About 12 years ago I began to question my core belief system due to a set of circumstances that Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala put before me. These circumstances began to shake the ideas I had about Allah, and how I worshipped him. During this time I struggled to cling to my own faith, but I began to question my beliefs. I slowly began to realize the questions that were now flooding my brain from outside influences (at this point they actually came from another sect of Christianity) had no answer within my previous religion. I began to realize I practiced the religion of my Mother and Father purely because I was encouraged to do so, not because I subscribed to those beliefs. Thanks to Allah (swt), once I began to question my beliefs I was not able to accept anything these other influences offered either. For a long time I lived in ambiguity, thinking that my concept of Allah (swt) would never allow me to follow a religion again. My faith was in Allah (swt) alone and I could not fathom the idea that any religion actually allowed that.

About 6 years ago Alhamdulillah I found out differently and started putting my questions to Islam, where they were all answered. I would like to say since my conversion 3 years ago I have never had that faith tested, but honestly, every day since, something has tested my faith. The difference now, is that I have examined and consciously held onto my faith. Sometimes I do reexamine it to keep my faith fresh. This practice has helped me to understand and truly believe in what Allah (swt) has asked of me.

Since my conversion I have asked many Muslims if they have had this type of “crisis of faith.” Most look at me as if I have said something reprehensible. I often wonder why this is looked at so shamefully. Why is it alright for a convert to have gone through this time in life but for born Muslims, it’s not alright? Psychological research shows us that all humans all go through a point in their life where they grown up and decide what they believe as adults, so even Muslims who are born into the faith do have a ‘point of re-embracing Islam’. Even in Surah Al Ankabut (verse 2) it is written "Do people think that on their mere saying, 'We have attained to faith', they will be left to themselves, and will not be put to a test?" (29:2) Let us all face reality, life and realize that Shaytan will at some point cause us to question our beliefs. So why ignore the fact that this is going to occur? Isn't it dangerous not to periodically reexamine our faith and reaffirm ourselves in our iman (faith)? Would we invite trouble in this way? Asked differently, if you have a diamond in a box, will you sit the box in a corner and assume the diamond will not go missing? Will you not value it, polish it regularly, and check the contents occasionally?

It is the nature of humanity to question things and to strive to better understand our creator. Just as our prayers serve to bring us closer to Allah, so does the process of reaffirming our beliefs. When we seek knowledge about our deen we are granted rewards for this. Surah Al Mujadila (verse 11) says "Allah will rise up, to (suitable) ranks (and degrees), those of you who believe and who have been granted knowledge...” (58:11) As Muslims we all have a duty to constantly affirm and reaffirm our belief in Allah (swt) and his Prophet ﷺ. Our Prophet (ﷺ said "If Allah wants to do good to a person; He makes him understand and learn the deen" (Bukhari and Muslim).

The problem is that often the idea of questioning our faith is considered taboo in society. Today we have come to think questioning and examining our faith is a sign of weak iman. But in examining our faith we remove our doubts, increase or iman and become stronger against the things that would take us from our relationship with Allah (swt). So let us not shy away from those questions that come to our minds about Allah (swt) let us seek the knowledge we need to answer those questions and in doing so bring ourselves to a new level of iman. As Surah Al Fatir states, “It is only those who have knowledge among His servants that fear Allah” (35:28).