Friendships

In the name of God, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ | Peace be with you السلام عليكم

I love my friends like I love my family. I don’t know if it’s because I've always wanted more siblings or because I found a friend in my sister Alhamdulillah. I have also been so blessed with a husband who is my best friend; this I am truly thankful for.

I’ve been taken advantage of by friends a lot of times I think, but it doesn’t bother me. Some of my closest friends from the past know I have had a soft spot for them – some I love so dearly or have loved, so I could honestly say I would have taken a bullet for them. Some sadly are no longer friends of mine, whether moving on in life and losing contact or other reasons. A few close friends I often mourn the loss of, it’s like losing a family member. A little piece of your heart hurts. However, I will always consider them my friends and keep them in my thoughts and prayers.

I think about memories with those people, particularly close friends, I remember them and smile when they come up in a story, and I think about the bond we shared and long for that friendship at times.

I know friendships grow and change over time especially with marriage, even more so after children and such, but friendship is an important and healthy aspect of life, you have to balance it like all other things.

I heard a quote once that said “see the friends you hold, they are your mirror image”.

I remind my husband to keep in touch with his friends. He has a close knit group of guys that I am sure he loves like brothers and is willing to do anything for, this makes me happy because I know they feel the same about him and prove it time and time again with constant love and support.

Sometimes we may need to give up or mourn the end of certain friendships, no matter how good we may think they are. If they were not good for us emotionally, physically, or spiritually, if they somehow make us less productive to society or influenced us wrongly then maybe the ties should be cut. In those cases they may not even be worth mourning or grieving about let alone calling those people 'friends'.

Friendships can be just as important if not more so than family. We tend to be reflective of the friends we keep – If you keep solid Muslim friends, you are more likely to be solid as a Muslim Insha’Allah. This is an Islamic sociological fact - the people you befriend do influence you or open up new opportunities.

It's a good social skill to be able to mix with various people, intelligent, powerful, the poor, children, ignorant people and the wise. By this I mean we should guard the company we keep. Don’t call everyone a loyal friend and love them blindly. Do love all of mankind but keep a special place in your heart for only certain special people, not those who do harm to you.

To be a better person you should surround yourself with better people; that’s not to say be judgmental and reject friendship, we all have faults, but hold close to you good people, and be good to them and surely they will return that friendship and kindness.

Our Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) held his friends very close to him, his dearest friend was Abu Bakr, a 'friend of Allah'. The people who appreciate their social bonds the closest like brothers were the companions of the Prophet (s.a.w.) We are able to learn from Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) too that loving Allah like a friend helps us to understand Islam better. His love for Allah was an important friendship; his family rejected his message of peace, equality and monotheism so those who were not his true friends turned against him. But the friendships Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) gained after giving the message of Islam were essential to spreading truth and ensuring good friendships would continue to be practiced correctly after he was gone.

Sometimes friends are able to understand certain aspects of life better than your family, and you shouldn't forget those people, you know which ones I mean: those people you can talk to, those friends that have helped you, or held your hand or simply lent an ear. Hold those people close to you, hold them dear like your brother or sister, make du’a for them and be there for them in their time of need. Some people you respect may become distant but still hold them in your heart and pray for their well being. That is good Muslim character.

Sometimes we all go astray, and it’s our good friends that can guide us with love and kindness, so take a moment to remember your friends, now and passed, and make a du’a for them, who knows… Maybe they are making a du’a for their friends, for you.

By: The Immigrant | Peace & respect ★ | www.Muslimness.com

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