-- The Journey --

He realizes pretty soon that he has found himself outside the gates of Jannah; a somewhat 'fantasy' like place that he had consistently heard about in many of his religious studies classes from an aging teacher, as a pre-teen. Nonetheless, he experiences an indescribably familiar pull towards the glow. Walking through the picketed fences that stretch out from the gates; he feels mesmerized by the soothing tranquility and fulfilling serenity that surrounds him.

Treading past the majestic sparkle emanating from the picket fences that align on each side of the path, he soon enters the center of the glow and realizes that he’s not alone anymore. He observes how this place is so different from anything he has ever known.

The immaculate beauty, perfection in grace, magnificence in design, statuesqueness of craft, sublimity of genesis and majestic allure of all that he sees defies all comprehension beyond imagination! This place that he observes possesses the kind of perfect artistry that transcends and eclipses with the kind of thunder and roaring impeccable might that he simply can not find himself describing in words.

"We shall show them Our signs in the horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that it is the truth" [ The Noble Qur'an 41:53 ]

He realizes how the people that inhabit this unimaginable fantasy land; possess the most joyful looks on their faces, emanating radiance and warmth from their eyes and exhibiting an image of sheer satisfaction and pride. When they walk, it doesn’t seem like the normal human walk he’s known all his life. These people walk as if there’s no physical barrier between the soft touch of their feet and the glowing aura of the ground underneath.

Abdullah feels overtaken by such splendor and he yearns to speak with one of the,m but somehow doesn’t feel as if he has got the strength and energy to utter words that seem so insignificant compared to the incessant sound of the glory and pulchritude that enriches the atmosphere encompassing everything around his feeble little presence.

-- Endless Love --

Abdullah walks a little further until he comes across a clearing and sees a woman sitting next to the sparkle of the river. The sheer sound of the river captivates his senses and he realizes how he’s never heard such sweet symphonic notes peacefully arising from the soft flow of a river. The woman adorns a graceful white hijab tenderly wrapped around her. She sits quietly next to the edge of the river and occasionally immerses her beautiful hands into its water; all the while apparently staring at her reflection in the enchanting mirror of the river water.

He walks upto her through an innate and almost natural inclination, only to realize that the woman is his late wife.

A thunderous yet ecstatic gush of magnetism ravages through every inch of his body and he feels consumed by the sheer magnitude of disbelief that conquers his piercing eyes!

His wife looks up to him with the most beautiful smile one could ever imagine, the radiance of a smile he had long forgotten yet the allure and ravish of a smile that lived on deep down his heart and the depths of his soul from the day his wife breathed her last in his arms.

Abdullah wants to fill her deep down his arms yet he feels unable to do so. He cries out to her by her name; yet the incessant glory of the place he finds himself in, diminishes the intensity of his words and the agony of his hopeless cries to his wife fade away like the silhouette of an aged tree in the dark of the night.

He experiences sheer captivation by the very aura and profound majesty of all that surrounds him. He feels so very small and utterly insignificant in the presence of such pristine grandeur that fills this unimaginable place. Abdullah struggles within his ownself; quivering through the mumbling words on his lips, wavering with the glistening tears in his eyes; yet all in vain and he feels simply helpless in utmost futility.

The woman smiles back at him, a re-assuring smile of love and a feeble yet heart rendering nod affirming her everlasting affection for him.

A sudden surge of the same ravaging cold he felt earlier, clobbers his body and he feels the chill stinging through his spine, licking through his veins and he finds himself almost paralyzed in sheer awe.

Abdullah finds himself being pulled away from the river in an invisible flying trance. He feels an impetuous efflux of emotions escaping through his mind into his heart. He doesn’t want to leave, he struggles, he whimpers, he resists - yet all in vain again!

-- Face to Face with the Truth --

He feels engulfed and overtaken by the warmth and sudden luminance of a piercing light that shines upon him and he hears an incessant sound, something he has never heard before, yet he understands every single word of it.

It is Allah (swt)

God Almighty - The Supreme, The Exulted, The Omniscient, The Omnipotent, The Immaculate.

The Creator of the heavens and the earth and the Sustainer of all that exists.

"Every soul shall taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned" [ The Glorious Qur'an 21:35 ]

The glow that shines upon him is unseizing in its fulfilling totality and sublime grace. Abdullah immediately realizes it is his Creator, communicating with him through His divine light.

"[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving" [ The Holy Qur'an 67:2 ]

Abdullah realizes that if he ever wants to meet his wife again he must make changes in his life, his thoughts, perspectives and outlook on everything from his existence, to the very meaning and purpose of his mortality.

His conscience speaks to him and he realizes that he must embrace the truth of life no matter how harsh or bitter it may be, and that running away from the truth whilst denying everything in the process; is not the answer to one’s grievances on earth. That is because, the temporary abode of the world, is merely a test unto its own. While the inevitable finality of our existences as human beings, lies solely in the everlasting reality of the hereafter.

-- The Choice --

"Then did you think that We created you uselessly and that to Us you would not be returned?" [ The Majestic Qur'an 23:115 ]

Abdullah closes his eyes, struggling to calm down his whimpering breaths and for the first time in years of apathetic ignorance, he finally submits to a higher power that he has striven to defy all along. He learns that if he stays, he shall live no more as a mortal and neither will he be able to be next to his wife. He shall live forever in a never ending apartheid of his own making at a place with no doors. His ultimate designation would be an abyss of oblivion.

"Did you then think that We had created you in jest (without any purpose), and that you would not be returned to Us (in the Hereafter)? So, God is exalted, the True King. None has the right to be worshiped but Him..." [ The Immaculate Qur'an 23:115-116 ]

Abdullah learns that if he leaves, he will be given a second chance and the opportunity to turn his life around by making necessary changes spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically to fulfill the purpose and meaning to his existence. Moreover, this will enable him to live beside his wife in this wonderful place full of awe-inspiring splendor and unimaginable beauty beyond words, once his time on earth is up.

"Whoever does right, whether male or female, and is a believer, We will make him live a good life, and We will award them their reward for the best of what they used to do" [ The Glorious Qur'an 16:97 ]

-- The Farewell --

He opens his eyes, tears still trickling down his face and catches a one final glimpse of his wife standing by the river, ravishing under the glow of this magnificent place and appearing far more beautiful than he could ever remember her being.

His lips tremble in anguish because of the utmost thought of being parted from his other half, a half he’s loved with all his heart and soul and the loss of which had made him lose all meaning, purpose and hope to life.

Abdullah closes his eyes again and with firm conviction decides in his heart that he will do whatever it takes to change around his life and build a future with the woman of his dreams because being with her is the only true essence and glory that gives meaning to heaven for him in more ways than one.

Within moments, he finds himself wrapped in the arms of his beloved. He feels the soft magical warmth of her skin against his moist face, the sweet scent of her hair engulfing his very soul, and as he gazes into her deep blue eyes, he knows in his heart of hearts that he has made the right choice.

He finds pearls of emotions strewn across her eyes and can almost witness the reflection of his face in the moistness that decorates the windows to her soul.

Time stands still as two becomes one, as if their hearts beat together as one body and one soul in a whirlwind of a pull that feels...just so right. It’s as if though all existence seizes to exist and he finds himself frozen in that one moment forever, quenching the very thirst that he had longed for so long, satisfying the void for unconquerable solitude that he had cried so many sleepless nights to.

"But those who believe and do good deeds, We will admit them to gardens (Paradise) in which rivers flow, lasting in them forever...." [ The Holy Qur'an 4:57 ]

Abdullah looks up to his wife one last time as she runs her soft gentle fingers through his hair, caressing his face tenderly as he feels himself floating away from her ever so slowly - like a lonesome kite gone astray.

-- The Liberation --

"And so those who were given knowledge may know that It (i.e. the Quran) is the truth from your Lord and [therefore] believe in it, and their hearts humbly submit to it. And indeed is Allah the Guide of those who have believed to a straight path" [ The Majestic Qur'an 22:54 ]

The roaring noise of the thunder outside wakes him up in a sudden jolt as if a thousand volts of energy just surged right through him. The window’s open and the chill of the wind seems to make its way with utmost ease inside his bedroom, rattling up the curtains in an unusually calm manner.

Abdullah finds himself drenched in sweat, his heart beating rapidly and his mouth dry, quivering in fear and percussion.

He takes a sip from the glass of water next to his table and wipes off his face from his blanket.

Lying in bed, all alone in the dark, he thinks of what had happened. Pondering upon what he experienced; he tries to contemplate with a plethora of things flickering through his mind and the perplexing questions ravaging through his head. Was this real or was it just a dream? He fails to make a distinction and for the first time in years, he comes to terms with everything he has ever ran away from in life.

He takes a deep breath and recalls everything he had sensed, felt and realized. Shivering and trembling in ecstatic yet bizarre bout of self-realization, he gets out of his drenched bed, puts on his slippers and goes outside into the front yard.



The night is sublime and quiet even in the midst of such thunderous roar.

Soft drops of rain fall on his forehead as he looks up with his eyes closed and his arms spread apart, almost similar to a bird freed from the oblivion of its dark morbid cage, as if he’s been liberated from the shackles of ignorance and the imprisonment of blindness that contaminated and ruled every inch of his existence till tonight.

"And He who sends down (from time to time) water from the sky in due measure, and We raise to life therewith a land that is dead. Even so will you be raised (from the dead)" [ The Noble Qur'an 43:11 ]


"We send down pure water from the sky. That with it We may give life to a dead land, and slake the thirst of things We have created,- cattle and men in great numbers" [ The Immaculate Qur'an 25: 48-49 ]

It is hard to distinguish his tears from the drops of rain, tears that amalgamate in perfect unity, flawless synchronization and paradisaical orchestration with drops showered upon him from the heavens above.

" Verily, you will not guide everyone whom you love, but Allah guides whom He wills and He knows best those who Will guided" [ The Glorious Qur'an 28:56 ]

Tears softly caressing his face with the same loving reassurance as the tender gentle hands of his wife, tears trickling through his hair like her reassuring comfort, tears moistening his dry lips like the invigorating essence of the endless nights that him and his wife would once spend praying unconditionally to their Creator.

"Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding - Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], “Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire.” [ The Noble Qur'an 3:190 ]

Tears cleansing every inch of his body with the pure and subtle symphony of contentment soothing the very depths of his senses with...Hope.

"O ye who believe! Ye have charge of your own souls. He who erreth cannot injure you if ye are rightly guided. Unto Allah ye will all return; and then He will inform you of what ye used to do" [ The Immaculate Quran 5: 105 ]


You see, Hope is a gift. A gift that is everlasting, can never die.


Abdullah Bin Alawati, feels the rain like he has never felt before.

Abdullah Bin Alawati, feels.....God afterall!

"Lo! Then do ye remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and reject not Faith" [The Majestic Qur'an 2 :152 ]


~ The End






Peace & respect ★