What do you mean I can't fly? I'm a SuperMuslim!

At Fajr: I fell sleepy which was literally AFTER suhoor so I think the Ramadan blues are getting to me. I tried refilling at the Ramadan Imaan Gas Station (RIGS) but they didn't accept my coupons so I'm still 50/50 on alertness.

I made dhikr in my head on the bed.. then slid off onto the floor and made more dhikr to stay awake and in a state of wudhu*... 'la illaha ill'Allah...' I banged my head on the table I use for storage (since I was splayed on the floor) and nearly swore... 'la illaha ill'Allah...' then rolled over to grab a scarf from the wardrobe and found it was tightly wrapped in a tie-band and spent ages opening it and pinning it in the semi-dark... Still making tasbih to control my Hulk-anger... 'la illaha ill'Allah ta'la...' Then stood up creaking and squeaking every old bone in my body and finally made prayer! Yayy! Take that sloth!

And ladies, you don't want to be spending eons hanging or folding your headscarves, nope. What you do is chuck out all your university files which look important to create a large empty pull out drawer OR use those nifty stackable boxes with lids from Ikea or Argos. Throw out all your scarves onto the floor and roll up each one into a tiny handkerchief sized sausage and tie a band around it. Put them into the boxes (I colour co-ordinate mine, I know, I live a sheltered life) or your drawer and Ta-Da! You now have a more spacious wardrobe or closet for other hand-me-downs and an easy-on-the-eye organised headscarf department. I invented that concept I did. I should do Muslim Life coaching. How awesome is that?

I keep hearing people saying after something bad or upsetting has happened "tut, that's a shaytaan act, that was a devillish work". I'm like HELLO?! There are NO shaytan or evil jinn around, at all! It's Ramadan, the month of freedom and Allah swt has swiped every malignant jinn and thrown them into a cave! Probably in the Vegas desert. There are some evil people around though, I wish they were locked up or thrown into the depths of the cold dark sea.

Every disappointing or struggling event is straight from Allah to test our patience with ourselves, and from other sources, including us. Stuff happens, you know? Bad, painful, heartbreaking, annoying, hypocritical and damaging stuff. But it IS a test and only in hindsight do I remember that if I had held on a wee bit longer to that taqwah - piety/alertness, I might have pulled through with a smile. During that test though I forget and I begin to blame things. I blame my computer a lot of the time. Technology is evil, I just know it. Hunger attacked me today really strongly. I wanted to lick every picture of 'halva' and 'baklava' I saw, and I'm not a fan of either! Sabr I told myself, feed your soul with Allah's remembrance... It's all a learning experience.

After dhuhr salah: I took a stroll outside to water the cucumber and tomato plants in and near the greenhouse. They've properly mutated now, huge bunches of tomatoes, 15+ to a plant, al'hamdulillah. I also hung out with a bird and befriended a spider. We talked about flying in the changing weather and how difficult it was building a home out of microscopic threads. Some daft bat always comes along and tears it apart. You should read what Allah says about the female spider's web. In Surah al-Ankaboot, The Spider, chapter 29, verse 41:

"The analogy of those who take protectors other than Allah is like that of the female spider, who builds its house all by herself; but surely the flimsiest of houses is the spider's house;- if only they knew what that meant." (29:41)

Lesson: Build your homes, your faith, families and fasting on foundations that are strong, truthful, solid and linked to complete faith in One Illah (Lord/God). Anything else and it will break and crumble - just like believing in more than One Illah. I like that verse. I've memorised it.

After 'Asr: I pulled out a couple of duffs (traditional Eastern drums) from under my headscarf (one can hide so many useful things underneath one's libaas - sellotape, computers, duffs...) and I went about singing ♫ Ramadan nasheeds. It was awesome. We made a racket. We're an up and coming rock band I will have you know. I started one in college and received rave reviews... Glass Smashers we were called. Anyway, not only did we sing every Ramadan song we know - girls and boys, we know EVERY single Ramadan song out there, we made up our own too! It was like Ramadan-Karaoke. I will get the wicked lyrics for the next post insha'Allah.

For Iftar: I had vegetable and herb pizza, chips (that's fries to you Americano's), left over chicken from yesterday's iftari and cucumber salad. And ohh, I made ROTI today! ROTI! I'm gleaming ear to ear for now I have widened my marriage prospects since the African and Asian matrimonial agencies will up my profile for 'being able to cook a 5* flour based food'. ROTI! It's Gujarati roti too; what you do is add a smidgen of salt, some spices like cayenne or cinnamon and a tablespoon of oil (Olive oil) to the dry flour and then knead like crazy into a stiff dough. It tastes great when all puffy and odd looking. I make special Country Roti's ©. I want that copyrighted. They're not round, heck no, that would be 'so' average. I can make roti the shape of Italiy, Malaysia, Chile and Nigeria. Each roti is a one-off unique handmade production. Country Roti's ©... Round roti's were so yesterday.

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I became very distressed just before Isha salah. I came online to check emails and received a message from Cage Prisoners (Google them) informing me brother Terry Mustafa Holdbrooks, the former Guantanamo prison guard, had been detained at a US airport for 24hrs. He hadn't even put a foot on the plane. Why? I wondered, I wasn't surprised. We were joking about how security hadn't stopped him earlier or that he would be held and questioned about his beard, his colouring, his intentions and contents of computer etc. But this was really a heart jab.

They let him go, Mustafa got on the plane, arrived here in London 24hrs later than expected and was detained again, this time by the Border Control Agency. My heart sank further into my intestines because this was disappointing. The statement released said something about Mustafa having an unstable financial situation so he could intend to stay indefinitely in the UK and commit something naughty. "That" was the only reason they kept him?! I rang the number provided by Cage Prisoners to give the officer there a piece of truth and my mind but I couldn't get through. Good thing I guess, I probably would have been taken into custody too. Again. So now brother Mustafa's being told he's being shipped back to the US on flimsy grounds like unwanted goods and we probably won't get to see him or support him!

The Kensington and Chelsea Council did that with Imam Anwar Awlaki - saying they didn't want to upset people with his presence and blah blah blah. These are ICONIC MUSLIMS who have proven their worth enough times; what are they really going to do? Damage us English with their kufi's and words? Puh-lease. They let the BNP exist didn't they? We 'grand' United Kingdom: Tolerance exists on the tips of their tongues. Al'hamdulillah for those organisations trying to reach out in solidarity, work with Muslims and vice versa, fasting with us too. This just takes the biscuit and reduces our faith in authorities.

That's still rumbling in my head so while it was a fairly productive and good fast al'hamdulillah, I'm making dua Brother Mustafa has a safe journey and less stressful time ahead. He's going to cuss so much about it after...

---Intermission---

I found a box of mehndi (henna) tubes in that Gift From Abroad package. They're really good, give a dark stain and come with "emergency henna instructions". -chuckle-

PANIC! It's my wedding day and I MUST have mehndi! If only some super-henna-hero could save me from this predicament! -out jumps a flashing mehndi cone in a cape- FEAR NOT! For I am here to save and colour in your hands! Behold! The bride is naked no more! Aha ha... I'm going to experiment with this. I used to be really good at Celtic and Indian designs. I want to henna tattoo on my forehead "misunderstood".

I have the video up for my shmexy (see? halal sexy = shmexy) foreign 80's car:

(To Muxlimers: to watch the video click here)

Anyway, while I'm indebted to your utter adoration to my insatiable glammy lifestyle, I've got to go. This week has gone incredibly fast, fast 9 already! I have a stack of books I want to read, some more 99 names of Allah subhanahu'wa ta'la to memorise and a list of eccentric things to do for tomorrow insha'Allah.

Zaufishan ★ sat on a windowsill counting the stars and making dua' to Allah for better security on and off land

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The Misanthrope