Love Without Borders
Thursday, September 24, 2009 Read more → love in islam, marriage, muslim diaries, muslim while flying, trips and vacations, Zahra-Shah In the name of God, entirely Compassionate, especially Merciful | Peace be with you
In the name of God, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ | Peace be with you السلام عليكم
Asalaam alaikum wa rahmatillahi wa barakatu.When I traveled from Canada to New Zealand, I felt out of my comfort zone, excited but nervous at what was about to be before me.
I never would have known returning to Canada would be similar. I would have never known I was going to return...
Due to some unfortunate circumstances i.e. my husband's sister hating me due to her possessive nature over her brother, me and my husband found ourselves without a home in a foreign country. In the middle of the night I was stuck with an emotional split second decision of what to do, thus I called my dad sobbing at being homeless with nothing but the clothes on my back. I was chased out, for no good reason, both me and my husband as horrible words were thrown at us, on the lesser end I can mention the word extremist, strange, useless, thick headed, stupid ... these were the least hurtful of the lot.
We did everything for these people, everything and anything, even let it roll of our backs when their children use to spit on us, and disrespect us.
Things were going well, despite my husband's sister often telling me when we were alone that I ruined my husbands life, or that I wasn't welcome in their home, they were stuck with me, or being told not to hug my husband or go to close to him as I was smothering him, but the two of us had otherwise found jobs and in a few weeks time would be on our feet, independent at last.
I think his sister foresaw that exact image, and did anything and everything to try and harm our relationship without any luck. Kicking us out before we were able to afford living anywhere was the only way she could hurt us, the way she could make life more difficult for us, so she did it.
She finally showed her true colours in front of her brother, telling me all sorts of horrible things as filthy words flowed so smoothly out of her mouth as I helplessly looked at my feet wondering why I was in this position; I am no victim but what can you do what you have nowhere else to go and you know any minute your going to be faced with that realization.
I sit here looking at my broken laptop, the one my husband's sister smashed, my wedding photos gone, wondering how someone could be so horrible, asking Allah swt to give me the patience I need, now on the other end of the world furthest from the one I love.
I returned to Canada alone, I felt out of place after being gone almost a year.
I didn't like how I felt.
Being here alone was the worse part now faced with. The task of sponsoring my husband.
Being here to face the world alone when my best friend is so far from me. I have only left New Zealand 5 days ago - 3 of which were spent traveling... yup 50 hours of flying and lay by time.
I am finely adjusting to the new time zone after some serious jet lag, but not adjusting to being so far from my husband. Even being in another country everything reminds me of him and makes me overly emotional. I constantly worry and stress, is he eating? He can't cook, what's he eating? Does he sleep? I know I have a hard time sleeping without him next to me, we both suffer this illness. I often pretend to still be jet lagged, closing my eyes hoping to fade away into a dream land where I can smile and see my husband. This isn't easy.
All our plans are on hold at the moment both of us with he heavy burden of being apart.
InshaAllah we can spend our one year wedding anniversary together, we will, I don't break my promises, even if we both have to go to his impoverished, unstable home country of Fiji, I could care less, I will give up all the luxuries of this world even the simple ones kind of like I did when living with his family, just to be with him so that we can have a family.
Right now I don't know what to do, or where to go, my family is living in Montreal, I don't speak French so I won't be able to get a job - I also have family living in a small town, I can go there but say goodbye to halal food and masjids, which means eating 100% veggie. Oh well... It also means returning to the stares, the rude comments, the lack of understanding. I can handle it, the only thing I won't be able to handle is being away from the one I love for long - for those who think it's cheezie, you're lost and don't know what you're missing in life.
InshaAllah it wont take long.
I pray Allah swt speeds up this difficult time in our lives and gives us the strength to get through this, allow things to move quickly without any major issues. I'm going to miss my husband's birthday - we have decided he can stay a few months longer. He's not allowed to be 27 until we are together, maybe we can celebrate our birthdays together on my birthday/our wedding anniversary in March... InshaAllah.
Keep you posted. I hope everyone enjoyed their Eid, I spent mine alone in a airport. But that's ok its Allahs will. Take care, walaikum asalaam wa rahmatulla.
By: The Immigrant
Peace & respect ★
A quick note from → Zaufishan, MUSLIMNESS creator
MUSLIMNESS.COM. Savvy Muslims in Media, trendy blogs and Good News. If you too are like, totally awesome, share your ideas by contacting MUSLIMNESS. Sharing is Khayring.
